Hello tumblfriends, long time no relboge.
Um I have to admit that I kind of lost interest in tumblr a while back for two reasons, one is that I had this thing where I had to scroll back and check every post in my feed daily and it was at a point where it was taking hours and was getting a bit crazy.
The other is that me and a friend kinda stopped talking, so I kind of stopped using tumblr as that kind of interaction with them. No it’s nothing bad like an argument or anything, I think she just got busy with her other friends/college etc, and also she’s not very well right now and having a pretty rough time.
Having said that I wish we didn’t lose contact because I feel like such a jerk since I’m not there for her to talk to (even though she wouldn’t really tell me anything).
I noticed that her blog is gone and I haven’t gained any followers lately, so I guess she’s kinda just thought “fuck him”.
But I’m at the point now where I don’t know if the reason we stopped talking is:
A) Because she doesn’t like me anymore and has moved on to her other friends
B) She hasn’t messaged me because she thinks I don’t want to talk to her, and I haven’t messaged her because I think she doesn’t want to talk to me.
I’m really leaning towards her not wanting to talk to me. We were supposed to meet up at a con (which we did - was cool but kinda amusingly awkward since we are both amusingly awkward people). The feeling I got though is that I was generally unwanted and being avoided, so I kinda just took that at face value and didn’t bother going on Skype because I thought it looked pretty obvious she didn’t want to be friends anymore and to be honest it made me feel really down and shitty.
Damn if only I had a time machine - not to try and undo whatever it was that happened, but just to relive those early days when we’d chat for hoooours. I’ve been depressed for many years but I actually felt like I had a good friend for a while.